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CHRISTIAN LIVING TODAY
ONARECKER
I remember that day, years ago, as I walked in the backyard and thrust my fist to the heavens.
Anger raged and fear was in control. In my heart, I shouted, “God, I do not trust You.”
I know I cannot be the only human on this planet to have felt such frustration, disappointment and fear of trusting God.
Thoughts swirled in my head as I attempted to balance my good work and obedience with the adversity that day — look what we’ve sacrificed for You, we followed Your direction. We did what You wanted the best we knew how, now this? Now what? His divine plan for my life includes that? How do we keep going in the face of dark disappointment?
Do you also recall such a time or season of life?
I had recently studied the book of Job in an intensive college course. You’d think I would have learned something, but when my crisis hit only months later, my heart broke and I did not turn to passages of hope to renew my confidence.
I fretted and worried and became angry, but of course, as a Christian leader, the anger was hidden from the outside world.
I didn’t immediately identify this truth, but God never walked away. He never let go and was there as I went through the emotional tantrum.
I now know there were things in my heart that needed adjusting — perceptions, idols, perspectives — God’s pruning and molding hurt.
When He takes away things we hold dear, the pain is real … grief is real.
Like the loving Father that He is, we can never escape His presence or grace.
Take time to read Psalm 139:7-16, these are some of my very favorite passages. Verse 17 says, “How precious also are Thy thoughts to me, O God!”
It helped me when I recognized that, like Job, God owes me no explanation.
Our culture says that if you’re having difficulties, that means God is trying to teach you something — but our minds think, “If I learn this lesson quickly, the adversity will be over, and life will continue as normal.” In our hearts we cry out, “Just hurry, Lord.”
Life is challenging and Christians are not immune to difficulty, pain or horrific experiences.
How do we learn to trust God? I will share what I’ve found next week. Until next week, Anita
Onarecker, a writer, author and minister to women and adults, earned a Master of Christian Education from Southwestern Baptist Theological Seminary in 2007.
Anita
